[Music] I'm Jeni Thomas and I'm her friend
Ellie David we decided to create a podcast that embodies what you would talk about with your closest friends so
sit back and relax and put your headphones in because you're listening to the honestly unfiltered podcast
hello and welcome to another episode of the honestly unfiltered podcast
Ellie it's been a couple weeks how are you I am okay right now but as you sit here
looking at me and talking to me I'm okay In This Moment it's moment it's it's
been a bit of a ride the last couple weeks but I'm okay how about you uh
pretty much the same yeah yeah been better but worse
I mean in par for the course I guess this time of year I mean I'm not blaming it on the holidays honestly it's
I don't know I I I'm out of excuses like I really don't know but I just wanted
everyone to know because I was pretty proud of myself I had a phone consultation this afternoon with a
therapist really yes I did now don't know if this one's gonna work out but
it's it's a jump off point and I just I scheduled an appointment
that's big for right after the first wow no I I
landed in the emergency room again with another panic attack that I thought was a heart attack and I'm like you know
yeah we gotta figure this out like this is now debilitating at this point
I hate to lie I'm not jokingly laughing it's just I I'm trying to just take it
in stride and you know listen I've I've had so much therapy throughout my life up until my 30s I was pretty consistent
and then I did like 12 step work and stuff like that but I have and I was
pretty consistent for a while with that as well but um yeah I haven't had a therapist in a
long time so well you know here's open I think that
no it's I think when we say we have issues and we work through them and it's minor
stuff but your stuff's actually debilitating you for one and preventing you from driving places for
two and I think yeah but just for you our own peace of mind you need to work through that
obviously it's more than what me and Maria can can diagnose or do or work out
or whatever what you book all you know what I mean yeah I mean it's self-aware as I I really believe I am it doesn't
mean I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do but I'm very self-aware but uh you know and you know how I feel
about therapy I it's like you're a general practitioner I think everyone needs a therapist and you should have
someone that you're checking in with and if anything has taught us most recently
with that horrible tragic death of Stephen boss twitch
um he ended his life and yeah you never you know you just never know what
someone is going through and you know we we talk all the time about removing stigmas from
you know mental health and mental health issues reaching out for help you know and it's like what am I doing like no do
I feel suicidal or any of those types of things no it's quite the opposite I'm so scared of dying
you know but but I know that there's there's reasons for that and I do need
the tools I you know I can be aware of it but if I don't know how to handle it or you know cope that
you know yeah so you know we'll see it's a part you know I think what keeps
someone like me and maybe you can relate to this keeps us away from going back into therapy is that you know the
process you know the journey you know the work just the initial is kind of daunting because you're like ugh I gotta
go tell somebody my whole life story and then at the end of the day I might not like that somebody and now I gotta do it
again I mean it's like it's it's a little bit of work you know but it's worth it you know if you find a
find a good one I was just talking about this with my brother the other day and I said to him the reason I stopped going
to therapy and trauma therapy specifically was because I had to
actually sit and write down every traumatic event that I was trying to not
remember or how they reprogram your mind to think of it differently and I didn't
want to rehash all that and then as I was going through the process it was
actually making me like edgy and angry and so I just like felt like at the
moment it was better for me to just discontinue because I didn't like bringing all of that it was bringing in
up insecurities in me now I know you have to walk through the fire to get through the other end and that's a
really bad cop out but I just wasn't ready to deal with it I guess
and listen it's that's an honest perspective I mean the way and I I've already been like in
my mind going over those things like oh I'm gonna have to talk about this but I
know that I can also say I'm not ready yeah and a good therapist will respect that yeah oh yeah excuse me and and slow
down for you yes you know and so you know I just figure I'll start with the
panic attacks you know and just start to like unravel but I'll just go at my own pace you know
and you know I I think about 12-step mantra a lot and one of the things that
always ring true to me and really never let me down is bring your body and your mind will follow and that's what I I'm
at that point where it's like I will just go wherever I need to go
and pray that God just gives me the The Bravery and the stamina and the
whatever to just keep going until my mind catches up you know and I know it will eventually you will but it takes
time and that's the other thing people all of us want quick fixes I mean that's
just human nature you want something instant you know instant gratification and it just your mind and your psyche
you know it took me 42 years to get into the shape that I'm in
just saying well and you know it doesn't always your
panic attacks may not even be for a reason you even think it is I had this
situation similar very similar happen about a year Ashton was about a year old
and I was getting pains in my chest and having these I didn't even know they
were panic attacks and that's even scarier right and and a
few years before that I was getting weird pains in my chest and I and I went to you know went to my doctor sent me
for all sorts of heart tests and she concluded it was anxiety put me on
um foreign I think it was at the time
and for anxiety and I took it for a few years but then obviously stopped at some
point and then when I started to get these were much worse this is was I can't breathe crushing chest pain and I remember one
time I think I've told you waking Wyatt up and making him take me to the Urgent Care because where I work because I just
thought I was gonna die and nothing came back it was anxiety and I
had post-traumatic stress from Ashley being sick as a baby yeah and
they I mean I walked in and he found the trigger in like 30 seconds and I was like holy [ __ ] really like we don't have
yeah you know I'm I'm open to going over it and figuring it out I mean
yeah panic attacks are no joke I mean it's and this last one that I had the
baby was with me and I knew I wasn't doing good that day and I was just
trying to power through it you know like my my mental like I'm good I'm good just you know and I let my daughter leave
to take the dog to the dog park and I was alone with her and that was it it was like my mind just went you're gonna
die and she's gonna be in the floor and she's gonna die I mean it was just like I spiraled and my husband you know my
husband had to come home she came right back I was almost passed out I almost did pass out and I'm like and I will say
the doctors that I came into and guys if you're in the medical profession nursing
or doctors especially I know and I know I because I'm in healthcare you get numb to stuff and but remember why you do it
because these doctors that day there was a doctor and a doctor in training and there was a couple really great nurses
and they they really saved me because they were so kind they were so
one the doctor in training was like has dealt with this for his life throughout
his life the doctor doctor um the head doctor or whatever his wife
is two years older than me in perimenopause their youngest is two years old so hello yeah and he was so
sympathetic and understanding and did not none of them treated me like a lunatic which is what I felt like you
know because the second I walked in there I felt better right because you know then that anything happens they're
going to be where they're right there with the defibrillator exactly so the minute he walks in the room he's like
well how are you feeling now and I'm like better now [Laughter]
but you know my blood pressure spiked like outrageously and I was like that's
it you know so but he was they were just all so kind and it was like look you
know this is what's I mean they did the heart monitors and all all that stuff and I even asked him I said should I go
see a cardiologist just for peace of mind and he said listen talk to your doctor I'm telling you no
you don't need that you do however need to get to the bottom of these panic
attacks you know and what's that mean but no there is nothing indicating that there's anything like that happening
with you I'm like all right you know so since then I've had a little more peace of mind but I you know I can't just
Slough it off anymore and sweep it under the rug until the next one happens you know and it might be
nice to have a Lifeline to call yeah exactly yeah like hey uh can you hit me up real
quick and let me see if this is the big one or yeah well I went and saw I mean I have a
regular cardiologist and I haven't been in a few years it's probably been it's been about three
years now I had my last stress test just because I I was going through like it was around
it was right it was right after tax season ended when we hadn't first moved moved to Parish
and you know so I Tech season ended didn't really know what I was going to
do in the interim you know and I had to find some income and so I I think I was
just really stressed and I started getting chest pains as I was on the treadmill but I think it was all I know
it was all coincidence because everything came back fine but you know it's I was like am I gonna drop dead
here on the treadmill you know type thing and so it's good to know what's going on my fear like you the baby
was always that they were going to come home and find me dead with the baby on top of me because
that actually happened to um my grandfather's sister she was
in her early 30s I want to say I had three small children she died of an aneurysm
and her husband came home and found the three kids sitting next to her on the floor and she was dead well and there
you go it's those stories yes like probably not probably not out there thanks
oh God I gotta go no but no but you make a great Point those stories are true and
they happen and but they are validate rare yeah they're very rare and another thing I heard recently was it was I
think on Tick Tock but very true and it was a doctor and he was like listen doctors are not going to let you die
today you're not going to drop dead like they did 50 years ago now the difference
is going to be as you age they're gonna you're gonna age okay but are you gonna
have good quality of life right that's gonna be on you but they're going to keep you alive oh yeah they're gonna
give you the medicine they're going to watch you they're going to make sure you stay living and breathing but you might
not have a good quality of life if you're doing a bunch of stuff you know that's harmful and so but yeah you're
those are the things that go through my head all those stories every time I'm like oh
yeah yeah but you know you have to remember you work a very physical job and if
you're not getting any kind of chest pain shortness of breath or anything like
that when you're exerting yourself then you're okay it's because these for even me it
happens you know it just seems like what when I when I'm finally feeling good and my body's not hurting all of a sudden
it's like boom well we're gonna [ __ ] with you this way yeah and all of a
sudden the chest pain will come and obvious feel short of breath and I'll lose the saliva in my mouth and I'll feel like I'm gonna pass out
but so you have to remember when you're you're if you're not having these problems when you're in top
exerting yourself because that's what a stress test is they put you on the treadmill and try to kill you yeah and
then your heart is okay but I I mean I think for your own peace of mind you should go see a cardiologist and get
that rolled out and maybe slide into an MRI machine and make sure your brain doesn't have any aneurysms
I do that every couple years you know every couple years I like to you know scan myself and be done well I'd rather
die of an aneurysm than go into the tube so oh God that's right
forgot about that yeah no but um you're as far as a cardiologist yeah I'm not
checking that off my list and I will talk to my therapist because peace of mind you know I think
it would help me I agree and and that doctor wasn't saying it wouldn't but as an ER doc he was not going to give me a
referral to the cardiologist but he said talk to my doctor you know and and see
if that's something that he thinks and your blood pressure will spike in those situations the other night when I went
to the Urgent Care because I thought I broke a rib my blood pressure was high and it's not
in the last like I don't know a few months even every time I've gone it's
been 110 over 61 today it was 115 over over 73 it's it's not been typically
High since I've lost weight but that night she was like it wasn't really high it was like 150 over 80 and I was like
oh that's high for me and she's like well you're in pain that's probably why yeah so any kind of stress will make
your blood pressure be high oh yeah no but listen it was like you
know 102 over 185. you know that's where it was reaching
okay so that was where once I actually checked my blood pressure that's when I was like oh hell no but the SEC I'm not
even kidding you the second I got into that emergency room by the time I was in triage it was down
I mean my husband it's the opposite as soon as a minute he walks in the facility his blood brothers bikes
because he says he wasn't sick till he went to the doctor I guess I got a lot of my grandma and my
mom and me I'm like heal me medicine you are my friend
I do I just like want them all to give me a hug I know right thank God your
favorite patient that day I felt very special I'm sure you were
the doctor in training was like I just want to say he was a young like good looking guy you know he's like I just
want to say I know you're having a hard time but I'm really glad you came today I was like okay he's like I'm just
saying it's people like you this is why I want to do this I said listen honey I'm in healthcare no
one understands that more than me God sprinkles in a few okay ones every once
in a while so you just don't say go [ __ ] yourself I'm out of here seriously because sick people are mean because they don't feel good eating and crazy
that's one of the first things they taught me when I went into Healthcare sick people are mean okay
hateful yeah oh yeah anyway I didn't mean to go on that much
of a rant that's all right I definitely wanted to share it because I think a lot of people saw I know what I saw with
twitch affected me very deeply it's affecting all of us to
see someone so young so full of life so full of joy so kind you know and this is
you know our podcast that's our main goal is to whatever you know and we can spend a
lot of things to kind of go into the world of mental health and overall Wellness because there's a lot of things
that affect that period I mean there's very few things in life right now that don't affect it right
um but so tragic and I I it's so much harder for men and black men especially oh yeah
it's getting better I I see and hear so many especially like celebrities talking
about you know mental health so that's good but yeah I just think it's super duper
important it is most definitely I mean
you know and it's it's like I always say and and it's not always the case but it's
the ones that are quiet that you just don't see coming that is the most shocking because they're not
asking for help or you know oh absolutely absolutely
it's just a tragedy I mean speaking of tragedies you know Perez
Hilton I don't know if anybody's heard what he has to say about Britney Spears but apparently it's not good
um I don't has he actually said what he's no he will is so bad it is so bad
he will not repeat it but a close someone close to her told him
everybody's everybody is has a right to be concerned something is
wrong yeah but they won't you know he won't say it now
will it leak uh at some point I don't know but I really truly believe those
videos that Sam is posting of her voice in the background are not her
and I almost think that maybe she's suffering from schizophrenia and
she's posting all of these things on her Rampage and then he or someone within
her group is taking them down and that's why they disappear I don't know I wonder if I don't did you
read about or hear about her Jack-in-the-Box guy story
no not that one no apparently she was having a hangry attack and she left the
house and she went to Jack In The Box and she had been crying she posted she had
been crying before she went through the drive-through because she was so hungry she worked herself up
and when she got through the drive-through got to drive through you know the cashier guy took her money and
everything and said I guess handed her food and noticed she'd been crying didn't know who she was and said huh
don't worry it'll get better and you know then like she kind of looked at him
I guess and put her sunglasses on and then he realized who she was well he
came forward later on Tick Tock because instead he was the Jack-in-the-Box guy
but she went on a rampage about him on her Instagram [ __ ] you you don't know my
life you don't know who I am or how dare you say such a thing to me and blah blah blah blah blah and so then this guy I
guess made this Tick Tock didn't show his face just barely like like a side
profile told the story said I just noticed this
sweet girl look upset and I've never said that to a customer before but I was just like wanted to brighten her day and
say it's okay sweetie it's gonna it's gonna get better like I was just trying to be nice in the moment he said and
then what she he said she put her sunglasses on and he said in that moment I realized who she was and I
just shut the window because it was awkward and handed her food and left yeah and
so I don't I wonder if that's true or not if it's if they're not their Camp is
not paying somebody to say yeah I saw her because everybody's been
saying there's no like visual confirmations like her and Sam allegedly
went to Nobu for for her birthday but nobody did like that place is swarming
with Paparazzi all the time but nobody saw her there so yeah
I don't know I don't listen speaking of mental health I mean I was definitely a free Brittany
uh supporter um plenty of we've talked about this you
know there's plenty of especially men that are in the Limelight so you know celebrities that are definitely uh
way out there that are not being locked up in a conservatorship so you know I had some serious issue with that
however from the time that she was out of the conservatorship I I've been thinking
this person is definitely unstable and you know not knowing exactly what's
going on you know or you know and we know that she's on it was never about that we know that she has issues
um but you know I the theory that you're giving I feel I tend to think more like
that like I feel like there is something happening and the people around her him
her husband or allegedly her husband um is either trying to protect her
so that no one sees what's actually happening yeah or trying to protect their their own stake in the game
because if she does get locked up again that's going to affect the purse strings
but from what I hear he has his own money which is yeah and I I I don't I don't know who he is I
have not he's not someone like I've always been leery of him let's put it this way I don't know much about him but I have
read some things that people were saying oh you know he's gonna you know she gets locked up in in a conservatorship again
there goes his Financial Freedom and somebody said he actually has his own
money from modeling and the little bit of acting he's done I doubt he has Britney Spears money no
he doesn't not many people do he means she's right up there with you know the best of them but yeah I mean with
probably Taylor Swift even because she was that teen you know star she wasn't yeah at
one point I mean I'm sure who knows what's happened to her finances throughout this but she's definitely got
Britney Spears money so um so I'm confused about that the other thing that confused me was
this whole wedding thing and the there's all these um
assumptions or you know thoughts that maybe the celebrities that were involved in her wedding
were kind of behind protecting her and trying to make it
look like she was healthy and getting married and doing you know quote unquote normal life things or were they just
just none the wiser and were participating in something that was a farce because there's all this
assumption that that wasn't a real wedding well their marriage certificate has been made public now
okay somebody found it his name is not the same as his driver's license but
that could be for various reasons because because everybody was talking about that and I'm like what are they
yeah it's the wedding that's what I thought too that it wasn't a legal wedding but then I read that it was
another concerning video that was she post you know when she posted her Instagram somebody you know there's this
one girl that's been breaking everything down and it's funny because she actually fights with para with uh Perez Hilton in
these videos I think I know who you're talking about yeah uh but the I guess the sign for
trafficking is like to put an Ink Spot on your shirt
and apparently in one of the videos she's wearing a nightgown something Lacy
and it has a it has a spot on it like a like a like a like a magic marker like a Sharpie and so people were saying well
that's a sign that she's being held hostage against her will like trafficking and a couple of people said
that in the comments and Perez Hilton liked it but I just can't
believe that Britney Spears was sold in to Sam whatever his name is and she's
being trafficked I I want to believe that if her family knew that no matter what she's done or said they would do
something to intervene I don't believe that I really don't I mean I and again
let me uh just press down a little bit on Perez Hilton he's a slime ball oh I
know that oh and we can't trust him now is it I do believe like you that he
could have information for sure why isn't he releasing it he really says everything stuff you know he doesn't
care and God forbid if it is something horrific yeah you better be talking to the
authorities or someone so like what are you trying to tell me you have something
so horrible that could be happening to Britney Spears and instead of getting her help you're gonna go online and use
it as click bait right you know even Perez Hilton that's pretty low yeah so I feel like it's I'm not
saying he has nothing but if he does have something I don't I don't think it's that uh and
the person he told him that told him they're not doing anything that's what I'm saying I feel like it's going to be
something that could be damaging right but not like that but so it also made me wonder if maybe she has cancer and she's
sick you know with some sort of illness and going through like treatments and that's
why they keep putting these videos up because they don't want possible I mean I that's
you know another scenario but who knows I mean I'm more with you though I feel like the like a schizophrenia or severe
bipolar you know I don't know exactly what she was diagnosed with in the past I don't remember if we ever really do that fully
um you know but the the behavior is definitely
oh I mean it's all over the place you know so they do have her locked up if the family did intervene but
maybe she needed to get regulated with her meds again or something and they're just trying to give her some time to
you know and even that would be salacious you know so if someone told
Perez that it would be salacious news because we've all just you know supported the whole free Britney thing
so everybody's gonna be like oh [ __ ] you know like what did we do but I still
think she should be free no matter what I just hope that there's people that you know love her enough yeah yeah
we'll see I'll keep watching it's it's still so confusing to me so hopefully things get a little more clearer yeah
coming soon hopefully time will tell yeah
so big news of the week are the topic of conversation Harry and Megan
oh boy where do we even begin with that I have nothing somewhere
so God yeah I don't know where to start first of all I guess we'll just start with the fact that not fact but my
opinion is that this I thought this was an excellent
series I did too I thought it was mess masterfully done I'm sure I'm saying
that wrong um I feel like they were as they were as
brutally honest in the best way um I do feel like it was time for them
to get a chance to tell their side of the story and you know I was critical yeah of that in the past and feeling
like you know like a lot of people like and I think you were saying the same thing like all right you're here move on
blah blah blah you know we're tired of hearing why do you keep talking about it but once you watch it you're like wait
they haven't talked about it they never told their side of the story no and as
someone that you know I think a lot of us can relate to being hurt and not just being hurt but your name being dragged
through the moon yeah definitely and never having the opportunity to tell your side it doesn't mean you're
going to change Minds necessarily because if people want to think a certain way about you they're going to yeah absolutely but it does give you
some just relief to go you know what it's out there do do what you want with
it believe it don't believe it right but to be able to defend yourself so I was all about it
and you know they didn't what I found interest not interesting so so much but
they didn't just go for the royal family they uh they told I mean they went after
her sister as well and I say went after loosely yeah you know they they told her they told it
for that story from all sides her sister and her father which you know a lot of it really shocked me
the fact that her sister had all these accounts and was yeah trolling her and
saying all these things and why be quite honest I think her sister really is the
one that started this [ __ ] storm you know well she she perpetuated
it and you know listen I feel like they most of their you know Venom was aimed
at the British media yes and I also believe that yes her sister was a
shitster and frankly let's call it what it is she's a liar oh yeah straight up
100 attention [ __ ] liar yes and but the British media they were seeking them out
and she I'm sure profited you know from it too and her father did that was that
was the heartbreaking one for me realizing how close she actually was to her father her whole life
because my thought before that was like maybe they weren't ever that close
like because as a parent I can't imagine doing that to one of my children me either
so it just didn't I couldn't wrap my head around it but then to know that no she was extremely close to her father
yeah you know so it's just very sad you know that he would
and it's like for what for money right I mean really is that it I mean because it's so stupid because why you're gonna
be a part of this whole world by her marrying right this man isn't it smarter
to just stay on their good side and be a part of their lives I'm sure they would always take care of
you if you needed help or you had health issues or you know what I mean like just greedy I don't know well and you know I
remember as it was happening I'm like God this girl won't shut the frick up about you know and it was so persistent
and it's almost you know I say this because it was
Donald trump-like and and it was very Diane like and I say
that because a therapist told my brother that Diane
has the same cocktail in her as Donald Trump that they're yeah that whole
sociopathic narcissistic [ __ ] yeah and I remember at the time feeling that
way like that's what my mother would do that's it like that's what she would do she would show talking about like her
father yeah yeah and the sister yeah okay she which my mother would show her ass to the world like that and they
would yeah they would be pissed if I wasn't including them and they'd be talking [ __ ] about me why don't they do
it without me being rich and famous but um yeah but no it's uh yeah it's it's
that whole and they don't and they don't they don't stop for anything they just just keep on coming and yeah
you know I I thought it was interesting how um
you know her niece Megan's niece the daughter of Samantha the sister who she
didn't raise who she gave to the grandparents and who adopted
how she said and she said this and it really struck me she said some people you just
can't change their minds or Reason with them and it's just sad to me that I lost
out on the relationship with my aunt for the time being because of something my
mother did and it hit me like that's my whole life I mean so yeah put me in a
box because of what things my mother does or did yeah so absolutely I can
relate with that too not to the level that you do but there was a lot more of that when I was younger than there is
now but I yeah that it's it's horrific and here it is you know your mother who
never wanted to be your mother never even participated as a parent in your
life and here you create and carve out a world for yourself even though you've
been abandoned by her and you do get blessed to have a relationship with your
aunt even though your mother's a wacko and here she could and listen how much
do you want to bet that a big part of what the sister did was jealousy over
all the years that she did have a relationship with Megan yeah clearly she is extremely jealous of the relationship
her father had with Megan yes because he was very Hands-On so you know and they don't seem to have
a good relationship no so you know it's it was just dysfunction at its finest freaking finest and
typical American family there was a couple times where
like just thinking about Prince Harry like trying to talk to her father right
like when they were leaving voicemails you know and he's like listen you know we're here we we just want to help you
and it's like it's like he must be thinking Jesus age Christ like where I get myself into the hell everybody kept
you know making a big deal about her being black and talking about the ghetto and I'm like um this is white trash
are you [ __ ] kidding me oh straight from the trailer park black
folks would not go up into that royal family after the full lights no they would not they would hide that [ __ ] and behave
themselves there's some white people [ __ ]
I had I just couldn't help it a couple times I was like whoa
but yeah I mean Jesus God you know something I wrote down
and I I've gotten this you know from a few people that I've you know listened
to their perspectives and you know I really feel
strongly that the bottom line is that if you really if you're really being honest with yourself about the Royals and
specifically Harry if you look at his life from the time he was very young
he never wanted to stay there he told us from the time he was especially a teenager he was not going
to stay he was trying to figure it out I mean my God look at all the years he
spent in the military in Buckingham rather than yeah yeah rather than be at
home and be acting as a royal he had no interest in it and I like that Megan
said that at one point she said listen you know he would have never been interested in me
the reason he was interested in me is because I represented the complete opposite it it gave him the this feeling
of this is a life that I could have instead of this one that's what he wanted right you know I
mean it it wasn't her she didn't take him away she didn't she doesn't pull the
strings Harry was planning this for most of his life since his mother's death right
and you know I this this documentary just shined a very bright light on that
did you watch the show he did with Oprah on HBO Max is it the one for his book no it was
called the me within me or something like that you know what I never did I started watching it because there was other
people on it too right yeah yeah and I started watching it and I never finished it no it it he spoke
about openly about his anxiety in that and how he went before he would have to go to these events as a teenager after
the military and all of that he would get anxiety attacks and he would remember he would be afraid that people
were going to see him sweating because he was so had such bad anxiety for being in those places
so I I really truly think that if you look at the way Megan's friends speak
about her in this documentary and they're not just I mean they're they're
not okay they're not celebrities who you find in the gossip magazines no but
they're High Caliber people you know and the people of substance yes Abigail I forget her last name name her one friend
the dark-haired one I love her I do too she is is like the most amazing actress
underrated I think I mean Serena Williams Come on Serena Williams like
you bag a friend like that yeah to me it's almost like Oprah or like a freaking I don't even know because she
is she's a high caliber person they don't have time for drama no and all so
she had and the thing of it is is no and you know all these people saying she's a gold digger and she knew what she was
going after Meghan Markle had a beautiful life before Prince Harry she
walked the streets fans that recognized her she posed she hugged she is this money she had money not Royal money but
she had I mean she had a million into the millions probably two or three but still she could do afford the things she
wanted to afford she didn't need him and they made that clear in the beginning
with their courtship it was like okay what do you bring to the table what are you about and they shared interests with
their Charities and the things that they wanted to do for the world and I really
do think that a lot of it started when they went to Australia as it did with
Charles and Diana when the people of Australia loved them so much and her and
I think that people back home got a little jealous like his father before
him like they said that's when the negative press started I do find it interesting that when
they're talking about the wedding they make several points to say when they talk about the violin quartet
Harry says yes my dad put that together he he helped with that and then they
mentioned the choir yeah and she says yes your dad helped us
they were the same kind all of the yeah all of these things and your dad was so
sweet to walk me down the aisle and this they made a point to be confined to
Charles to take the light off him and show really without saying they said it
without saying it's his brother you know that yeah has really got pissed off because he was jealous that they weren't
the it couple anymore and I I don't know what you know well they they came out
and said your brother yeah because that was I don't know if it was the fifth or sixth episode where William I think text
him they had a text between after Oprah and then she read it and she's like you
know like a lot of us were like that [ __ ]
I really hated to her that she didn't say anything that she respected that's his brother and didn't go on
what you know ghetto or you know you know love run her mouth like we would yeah
[ __ ] that [ __ ] he ain't coming in my house no more [ __ ] him and the turkey he ain't coming
here more holidays for you [ __ ] yeah listen but it it's one more thing
that it's clear to me that this woman loves him and you know it's kind of because you know we can joke but you
know I know all about dysfunctional families on both sides of the aisle pillow and but that's because I love my
husband so much I love who he loves and and I will do everything that I can to
yeah there's times we have to step back if things are like too toxic you know but but it's like that respect and love
for someone so much that you just you know that's a way of respecting and loving them and it was very clear that
you know she in my opinion has done that she's you know being a
good partner and you know I just think it's on such a big scale you know so they're having the same kind
of [ __ ] just Petty you know jealousies and
angers and hurts and fights but on just such a grander scale you know and the
thing of it is Harry doesn't have anything else to lose or gain he was never gonna be the king
no you know or his kid or you know what I'm saying it's like and that's how he lived his life and the thing that really
caught me was when he talked about the options that were on the table and I do believe his father was trying to make it
work I do too um I believe the institution was definitely working against them as far
as you know when they kept talking about the offices and there's players behind the scenes that are feeding things to
the Press obviously feeding things leaking but I think that
you know it I think William this is maybe I'm breaching
who knows if William's even very happy about what his standing is in this
family it's a lot of pressure it's a lot of stress you know it's controlled his entire life I'm sure there is resentment
I'm sure there's some jealousy of the freedom that Harry has and I think it
was almost like no [ __ ] if I gotta do this [ __ ] you're gonna do it too it's going to be they're all in or
all the [ __ ] out you know like and Harry's like well fine all the [ __ ] out like
but he wanted to stay as an active Royal right him and Megan they were willing to
continue to work for the crown and and do it on their own dime right that's the
thing of it they were saying look no tax money involved or any any of that [ __ ] we will do it on our dime but still
serve the crowd right and it was like all in her all out
you know and I mean from the way they talked about Charles the entire time I agree with you I don't think it was
Charles no I don't either and I I don't know who to blame though was it the queen ultimately that made decisions
would it be beyond the the scope no no I mean ultimately she you have to remember
that she is always she first and foremost most
she puts the crown first before her family so she we see it we've seen it through the
years she hasn't always made the best decisions when it came to her family as far as their personal needs over the
institution yeah and I think that maybe she felt it would look a certain way if
you know from what I remember the time that the somebody said that she said either you're in or you're out and
there's no halfway being a royal but I mean
you know you know prince Andrew he he was the second in line Princess Anne
they're both allowed to have their lives wherever we don't even know where they live I mean pretty much and Andrew's a
bad example because of what happened now but through the years you know he's had
his privacy and whatnot and he but they stayed there they stayed yeah yeah and
he and his children both of his daughters live on public funds and
you know both of the girls are married to men who have their own businesses and
their own lives and they you know are afforded the luxuries so why isn't it
okay for Harry and Megan to do that I mean they they and then and you remember they initially said they were looking at
Australia then South Africa and then Canada and the only reason they got the hell out of Canada was because the
borders were closing and it was leaked their location was leaked yeah and the
this is the thing it comes down to the fact that Harry knew as long as they stayed on the taxpayers dime because
that's what the Press has used for all these years we pay for you and we should have full access right and
which is [ __ ] it is [ __ ] but it has it's been this trade-off between the
institution and the press and Harry knew he had to leave completely to be able to
say no you don't have that control anymore however [ __ ] up in disillusioned that was I'm now not
living on the taxpayers dime whatsoever I'm not getting any royalties and
um sorry distracted you know so but I think I would not be surprised if the
queen had to make the ultimate decision and kind of a tiebreaker yeah and and
maybe in her wisdom whether we agree with her or not she saw these two grandsons of hers that I believe she
loves very deeply and saw the pain that Harry was in saw the frustration that was causing William
and the the brides and all the stuff and maybe ultimately she you know said listen this is what might be the
healthiest thing for the family for you for all of you I mean set them free she set him free
ultimately yeah and I I just you know they don't say anything unkind about her
either no that I caught anyway you know so this sounds like a lot of
pain between the brothers and listen I don't want to bash William because you know I my heart aches for both of
them we watch their whole lives we watch their you know this tragic thing
happened to them and they've had each other and so I really hope they find their way back at some point you know
it's sad but that's you know how we feel about anything yeah I mean it's it happens to a lot of us you know so yeah
but listen I just want to touch on because I remember hearing about this
Tyler Perry Oh my God I'm having the worst
brain fart in the world I love him I love him love him love him but I had no idea I remember hearing a little snippet
about him being involved but I had no idea to what degree he got involved and
I two things I love what he said in the docu-series about abuse yes okay and how
he described abuse and he caught some some [ __ ] from people being like don't try to compare this to abuse victims and
he said listen my mother was the victim of abuse and what does the abuser do they withhold financial support they
withhold support emotional support they threaten that you won't have a place to live they threat those things were
happening to them and that is abuse yeah and and I loved that because it's like look they can be the royal family they
can have their little protocols or whatever but you got to call a spade a spade and then the fact that they asked him to
be lillibet's Godfather yeah and I was like get out that is so cool and then he
called it back and said do I have to go over there with those people because I ain't doing all that [ __ ] we're just
having a little something here it's a little party at my place but none of that Royal [ __ ] I'm like yeah I get
that no but he's so incredible you know he is and the thing of it is is I don't
think Harry wanted a lot the only thing the kid wanted was security and why why
shouldn't he have it he is a freaking Prince they he had to leave Afghanistan
because there was a plot to kidnap him there are people all over the world that
would put a ransom on his head not to mention the crazy fans that will just
roll up on his place just to see Prince Harry and Megan I mean so like leave
that out of it he his mother was I believe murdered I mean so you he knows
way more than any of us do if that kid needs security he there's a reason for it and that was just wrong and yeah
you know he's had this problem back and when he goes back home that they don't want to provide security for him but yet
he's not allowed to bring his own team so it's it's almost vindictive you know
it really is it's like when does it stop when something horrible happens to one of them I mean it's like at the end of
the day what the hell I mean I mean the Regency thing says that the children and
the grandchildren are supposed to get the security with the titles yeah and everybody bitching about them
getting the 100 million for the Netflix series why shouldn't they why yeah
exactly look what they're working for it too I mean they're working for it why
would uh Chris Rock get you know 100 million for a stand-up time that's what Netflix does people yeah they they do
these documentaries they do stand-up specials they do that's it's It's Entertainment even though it's their
truth there's nothing wrong with them getting paid for that no they're telling their story that it's worth that it's
for them to drive a further wedge between them and the royal family yeah it's worth that and more well
I'm sold I mean I I just I definitely listen I love the Royals I do too I'll
always be intrigued you know that'll never change you know but I definitely have their back like I have way better
understanding now and really I I cried I cried several times like I caught myself
like crying I'm like especially when she talked about her miscarriage and you
know it's like just the suffering you could just feel it coming from them
still the pain yeah the passive aggressiveness of it all that's what it
was it was all passive aggressive behavior they'll block blocking him from seeing his grandmother blocking you know
there's they're gonna sue the daily meal and just constantly blocking that and oh
nothing's happening to things happening and like forcing their hand all of it
absolutely so wish nothing but the best for Megan and Harry I agree I agree
it's difficult to be a member of any family I think I guess they're all Royal seriously I know like
we all have our [ __ ] we all have our drama it's nothing just because they're Royal it doesn't mean they're above it I
mean listen that's why I said you could relate I can relate
at the end of the day not to be gross again agreed
listen I mean I still get diarrhea from Taco Bell I mean
taco yep that yeah definitely
all right so all right well before we wrap it up we're gonna when do you so we're taking a break for the holidays
we can't yeah we if you want to yeah if we whatever I'm on vacation I'm on vacation after
Wednesday so whatever you want to do it's fine with me listen I'm down for what I just figured you were busy no I
was trying to take the pressure off you no no no I um yeah no I this has actually been very
helpful because yeah it does help me to do it it's not it's definitely not the
podcast you're podcasting no not today everything all right you didn't you
didn't run off another partner did you no I didn't no I didn't
no no I listen this is a bright spot in my life it really is so but you know yeah I mean
we can just kind of play it by ear yeah you know I'm down I like to have it to look forward to you know
um and there's so much [ __ ] that keeps happening I know like every time I see something I'm like I want to talk about it me too
[Laughter] so yeah well well at least we'll wait till after Christmas I think yeah
definitely we'll wait till after Christmas next week sometime we'll we'll schedule one all right sounds good all
right everybody thank you for listening and happy holidays Merry Christmas to
everybody that's listening and listens and continues to support us
absolutely thanks guys thanks happy holidays everybody happy holidays
